Jan 10, 2011

Relationships in relationship vocations (Part I)

Part I
Questions, questions and more questions

“The way she looked at me…. She must really hate me! She probably always had!”

“How do I know he is not jealous, not secretly wishing he had everything I have? How can I trust him?”

“This guy thinks he is a baby, he should be taken care of all the time!”

By now, you might have assumed that I am about to tell you yet another story of stormy relationships and entanglements. And I almost am – except they are not the type of relationships that are usually discussed in public. Below I invite you to join me in terra incognita – “relationships in relationship professions”. I promise an adventure – and some food for thought. So, what is it all about?

According to Woody Allen, the sex is dirty only when it’s done right. The same applies to a broader context of a relationship. Any and all long term relationships between human beings include elements of aggression, possessiveness, anger, which go both ways – all the “dirt” that makes it what it is – human relationships. Yet there are whole industries build on relationships, where the “dirty” part is still kept in the closet, at least when it comes to the negative feelings and emotions of the service provider towards a client.

When I say relationship profession I am mean doctors, lawyers, therapists, personal wealth advisors etc. My own experience with these professionals and their clients clearly shows that, transactional part aside, the relations between a client and an advisor is a two way street and (gasp!) there are feelings and emotions, both positive and negative experienced by both sides. Here, I said it again: both positive and negative, on both sides!

At this point you might or might not be saying”So what? “.

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1 comment:

  1. I think the author raised very important questions...In my case, I would say I am mostly aware about relationship dynamics with doctors. Definitely, a lot of us go to doctors to not just get better, but although subconsciously, looking for being taken care of. Or being told what to do, being relieved of unbearable toughness of uncertainty. Yet, very often, a. - we are not aware of all these layers of what we really want; b. - doctors are well aware of it, AND they make use of it. So the end result is often a dehuminization and demonization on both sides - they are secretly sick of us, patients, and don't give a damn, and we suspect them of not being engaged and dedicated...but we still go, because the system works this way, and nothing is more difficult than changing a system.